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Are We Done Fighting?: Building Understanding in a World of Hate and Division Paperback – May 28, 2019

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 18 ratings

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Powerful tools for spreading peace in your community

Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony.

But how to do it?

Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond. Coverage includes:

  • An explanation of the different styles of conflict
  • Cognitive biases that help explain polarized and lose-lose positions
  • Practical methods and activities for changing our own and others' minds
  • When punishment works and doesn't, and how to encourage discipline in children without using violence
  • The skill of self-compassion and ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves and others
  • Incredible programs that are rebuilding trust between people after genocide.

Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields including neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for activists, community and peace groups, and students and instructors working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division.

AWARDS

  • SILVER | 2019 Nautilus Book Awards: Social Change & Social Justice
The%20Amazon%20Book%20Review
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A fresh, studious and very readable book on how to live peace in today's chaotic world. Matthew Legge's helpful hints for individual or group action are in the best Quaker tradition."
— Hon. Douglas Roche, O.C., former Senator and former Canadian Ambassador for Disarmament

"No, we are not done fighting, but we can fight in a better way. This book tells you how."
— Johan Galtung, founder of the academic discipline of Peace Studies, and founder, Transcend International

"I recommend this extremely inspirational, accessible study book with its extensive practical exercises. I love the way it accepts that peace is possible, so in an interdependent world, it is everyone's responsibility to create positive change that fosters sustainable peace."
— Professor Elisabeth Porter, University of South Australia

"This book is a joy....[it] offers new material (stories and science) to those who have been doing this work for years, and a great way into peace for those just getting started. I especially appreciate the group discussions and exercises. No one should do peacework alone."
— Stephanie Van Hook, Executive Director, Metta Center for Nonviolence

"...an invaluable contribution to the ongoing quest to ensure peacemaking rather than violence is utilised to resolve conflicts, be they between individuals, groups or nations."
— Andrew Feinstein, author
The Shadow World: Inside the Global Arms Trade

"This transformative book presents a refreshing and innovative exploration of how to visualize and actualize peace in global society, in our families and relationships, and in our own minds."
— Douglas P. Fry, author, Beyond War, and co-author, Nurturing Our Humanity

"... a much-needed antidote to the risk of depression and despair. In page after page, and with a multitude of sources to back up the arguments, Matthew Legge gives us plenty of hope stemming from experience."
— Paul Rogers, Emeritus Professor, Peace Studies, Bradford University, UK

"This is the book many peace, justice, and reconciliation advocates have waited for. Enabling, practical, and clear-minded, Matthew Legge offers readers—individuals or groups—a road map to transform our deepest conflicts."
— Paul R. Dekar, Emeritus Professor and co-founder, Peace Studies program, McMaster University, Canada

"... exceptionally valuable and timely...Matthew Legge offers practical solutions that make a difference in our own lives and in the broader communities that surround us.... Not only to be read, but put into action."
— Alex Neve, O.C., human rights lawyer and Secretary General, Amnesty International Canada

"For those who are working to decrease the madness of violence and increase the sanity of peace, lock arms today with Matthew Legge. Tomorrow is too late."
— Colman McCarthy, Director, The Center for Teaching Peace, Washington D.C.

Review

"A fresh, studious and very readable book on how to live peace in today's chaotic world. Matthew Legge's helpful hints for individual or group action are in the best Quaker tradition."
― Hon. Douglas Roche, O.C., former Senator and former Canadian Ambassador for Disarmament

"No, we are not done fighting, but we can fight in a better way. This book tells you how."
― Johan Galtung, founder of the academic discipline of Peace Studies, and founder, Transcend International

"I recommend this extremely inspirational, accessible study book with its extensive practical exercises. I love the way it accepts that peace is possible, so in an interdependent world, it is everyone's responsibility to create positive change that fosters sustainable peace."
― Professor Elisabeth Porter, University of South Australia

"This book is a joy....[it] offers new material (stories and science) to those who have been doing this work for years, and a great way into peace for those just getting started. I especially appreciate the group discussions and exercises. No one should do peacework alone."
― Stephanie Van Hook, Executive Director, Metta Center for Nonviolence

"...an invaluable contribution to the ongoing quest to ensure peacemaking rather than violence is utilised to resolve conflicts, be they between individuals, groups or nations."
― Andrew Feinstein, author
The Shadow World: Inside the Global Arms Trade

"This transformative book presents a refreshing and innovative exploration of how to visualize and actualize peace in global society, in our families and relationships, and in our own minds."
― Douglas P. Fry, author, Beyond War, and co-author, Nurturing Our Humanity

"... a much-needed antidote to the risk of depression and despair. In page after page, and with a multitude of sources to back up the arguments, Matthew Legge gives us plenty of hope stemming from experience."
― Paul Rogers, Emeritus Professor, Peace Studies, Bradford University, UK

"This is the book many peace, justice, and reconciliation advocates have waited for. Enabling, practical, and clear-minded, Matthew Legge offers readers―individuals or groups―a road map to transform our deepest conflicts."
― Paul R. Dekar, Emeritus Professor and co-founder, Peace Studies program, McMaster University, Canada

"... exceptionally valuable and timely...Matthew Legge offers practical solutions that make a difference in our own lives and in the broader communities that surround us.... Not only to be read, but put into action."
― Alex Neve, O.C., human rights lawyer and Secretary General, Amnesty International Canada

"For those who are working to decrease the madness of violence and increase the sanity of peace, lock arms today with Matthew Legge. Tomorrow is too late."
― Colman McCarthy, Director, The Center for Teaching Peace, Washington D.C.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ New Society Publishers (May 28, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 354 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 086571908X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0865719088
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.87 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 18 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
18 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on July 10, 2020
    This is a great review and way in to of a lot of different literature, brought together in creative ways that circle around from the personal sphere to broader spheres and regularly back again.
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2020
    Three things stand out in this book: we've got to communicate better, as human beings we learn a lot of things and hate, anger, biases, prejudices are part of the things we learn and can unlearn as well, and finally- to create and continue living in peace, we've got to put in the work.

    I love the format of this book, especially the tips to be learned at the end of each chapter and the group activities. This book right here is an action-oriented read and the author draws from lots of examples, occurrences and case studies all over the world to share insights on human interaction and conflict. It's a great resource for schools, groups, communities and an even much better training tool for Facilitators.

    What the author shares, or the skills he proposes herein are not new- rather his approach, the step by step guide through this book key in the activity sessions is what is refreshing. He comes from the point of view that it can be done, that we can understand each other amidst the hate, fake news and division in the world- but only if we put in the work, if we are willing to check ourselves, to take a step back and evaluate our emotions and our actions as well.

    This book and the implementation and success of most of what is shared herein, lies in the ability to communicate and though this is key and a fundamental aspect of humanity- I'd be interested in taking this beyond words and into actions, for people who are deaf, blind, mute-who may have experienced violence and need healing as well.

    So, I'm glad I got to read this there's a quote that opens up Chapter 2 in the book that spoke to me and I'll share it: "As long as you cannot face yourself and love even those ugly parts, I will be left with the work of trying to love what you cannot bear to Witness."

    To the publishing and marketing team (especially Keira) thanks for reaching out and providing me with a copy of this book, I'm challenged to explore my understanding and interaction to enhance peace.
    2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth the read
    Reviewed in Canada on May 5, 2021
    Well written with very clear examples backed up with research. Great summary at end of chapters with practical exercises to bring the points home. Great for personal reflection on ways of dealing with conflict and would be very useful for group situations.
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome book
    Reviewed in Canada on September 11, 2020
    Very easy to read with great insight into power dynamics and conflict. If you are interested in or studying conflict resolution this is a great read!