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Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond.

Are We Done Fighting is a much-needed antidote to the risk of depression and despair

Finally understand...

Why we hold fast to false beliefs

Why we hold fast to false beliefs

Get fresh insights into the many factors at play when we believe something. The book acknowledges the incredible challenges and limitations we all face in thinking clearly and carefully, but also provides effective and immediate actions we can take.

Ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves & others

Ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves & others

Drawing on the newest understandings from neuroscience as well as more classic evidence, many useful insights collectively show us how to approach situations of exclusion and prejudice differently, to begin to transform ourselves and those we're in contact with.

When punishment works & when it doesn't

When punishment works & when it doesn't

We often believe that our powers work only if they're backed up by punishments or physical force. The book explores evidence from parenting to the work place to show what punishment is likely to achieve and what it isn't.

Why we act against our own best interests

Why we act against our own best interests

Discover what makes us support policies that are bad for us, why we act in ways that make us feel worse, and how we decrease our own security. You'll also learn the surprisingly effective methods to counteract these self-destructive tendencies, and help other people notice and counter-act them too.

Matthew Legge offers practical solutions that make a difference in our own lives and in the broader communities that surround us - Alex Neve

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The Author

Matthew Legge author of Are We Done Fighting?



Matthew Legge loves exploring the evidence and sharing interesting stories. He’s particularly passionate about making communication honest, simple, and accessible.

He’s worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 13 years, with a focus on building health, dignity, and human rights. He’s supported locally-led peace initiatives in North America, Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. He’s served as a volunteer, consultant, board member, and full-time staff member.

Since 2012, Matthew has worked for Canadian Friends Service Committee (CFSC), the peace and social justice agency of Quakers in Canada. Quakers are widely respected for their efforts to prevent war and transform conflicts, as well as their impartial support for war victims.

As CFSC’s Peace Program Coordinator, Matthew has had the opportunity to learn from Quakers across Canada and in the US, Europe, and Africa. Are We Done Fighting? is written for a general audience as part of Matthew’s work for CFSC, and proceeds go toward CFSC’s peace and justice work.

Matthew’s fascination with how diverse cultures organize themselves to address different challenges led him to get a degree in Anthropology from the University of Toronto. He served for six years on the board of directors of the Ontario Council for International Cooperation. This is his first book. He also maintains the Psychology Today blog Are We Done Fighting?

Are We Done Fighting is the book many peace, justice, and reconciliation advocates have waited for - Paul Dekar

"What if there was something powerful you could do right now, today, that would impact not only your own life, but your whole community? What if others were already using skills and knowledge that you’d never heard much about, but that could be genuinely transformative?"

— Are We Done Fighting?

the incredible stories of peacebuilders working in the midst of violence

This is a book about thriving.

Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields like neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for anyone working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division.

Gain new skills

Activities throughout the book help you put the learning into practice – either on your own or with a group. Experience the concepts you’re picking up and learn how to translate them into real world action.

Understand yourself & others in more realistic ways

Peaceful relationships aren’t just about being reasonable or taking the “high road.” You’ll learn all about the irrational biases that affect our thoughts and behaviors, start spotting them in yourself and others, and learn proven ways to motivate positive changes.

Practice the secrets to better communication

Develop your abilities in effective listening, understanding where others might be coming from, and communicating so that your needs can actually be met.


Recognize conflict styles & the dynamics at play

Discover straightforward and illuminating ways to analyze and understand conflicts, as well as the many ways that successful conflict transformation happens without rigid conflict management tools.

Learn how to intervene & address bigotry & hate

Explore and experience effective practices for stepping in during escalating conflicts. Gain the confidence to stop being a bystander and live out your values, even in high pressure situations.

Keep it complex

While being easy to understand, Are We Done Fighting? doesn’t cut-corners or claim that there’s only one principal cause to complex and evolving problems. It offers many options and let’s you choose which ones work for you.

This transformative book presents a refreshing and innovative exploration of how to visualize and actualize peace in global society, in our families and relationships, and in our own minds.
— Douglas P. Fry
author of Beyond War and co-author of Nurturing Our Humanity
A fresh, studious and very readable book on how to live peace in today’s chaotic world. Matthew Legge’s helpful hints for individual or group action are in the best Quaker tradition.
— Douglas Roche
O.C., former Canadian Ambassador for Disarmament
Along with many others, I owe a debt to Matthew Legge for expanding in lucid and heartfelt prose our knowledge of nonviolence and peacemaking whether we apply it in our personal, spiritual or political lives.
— Colman McCarthy
Director, The Center for Teaching Peace, Washington D.C.
I recommend this extremely inspirational, accessible study book with its extensive practical exercises. I love the way it accepts that peace is possible, so in an interdependent world, it is everyone’s responsibility to create positive change that fosters sustainable peace.
— Professor Elisabeth Porter
University of South Australia

Get a free chapter!

Just enter your email to receive a free chapter. Easy as that.

This chapter will give you a taste of why Are We Done Fighting? is such an informative and useful read. It focuses on beliefs. You’ll discover new insights into why we believe what we do. You may never engage in an argument the same way again.



What this book is not :


what this book is not



The book focuses on what we can do and what's possible without making abstract or grand claims. If you're a skeptic this book is for you. (Idealists—you'll find it inspiring too!)

Ignorant of human nature

Ignorant of human nature

In fact, the book exposes, with a fascinating range of findings, just how many of our beliefs about human nature are based on false or exaggerated assumptions.

Just opinions

Just opinions

Written in an easily accessible way, every point made is still based on a careful examination of the evidence. Hundreds of citations are included for anyone who's interested.



The book is designed to help you take what you're reading out into the world. It's not always going to be easy, but Are We Done Fighting? makes it as easy as possible.

Are We Done Fighting? is an invaluable contribution to the ongoing quest to ensure peace making rather than violence is utilised to resolve conflicts, be they between individuals, groups or nations. Legge’s book draws on examples and lived experience from around the world to provide practical and intellectually robust strategies for living and making peace.
— Andrew Feinstein
author of The Shadow World: Inside the Global Arms Trade
Matthew Legge has given us a considerable gift.
— George Lakey
author and Emeritus Professor, Swarthmore College, US
This book details how to motivate people to be at their best, with a focus on what we can do as individuals to address violence and hatred. While simple to understand, it has far-reaching implications for social justice, human rights, peace, and global stability. In short, Are We Done Fighting? offers serious contributions on issues that matter to all of us today.
— Murray Thomson
O.C., co-founder of Project Ploughshares
No, we are not done fighting, but we can fight in a better way. This book tells you how.
— Johan Galtung
principal founder of the academic discipline of Peace Studies, founder, Transcend International

Speaking & Workshops

Are We Done Fighting? includes activities you can do with your book club, school group, faith community… The book even has an appendix on how to facilitate workshops. But if you’d like help, feel free to to discuss Matt coming to your event, either to give a brief presentation or facilitate a longer workshop.

In a TV interview Matthew Legge discusses addressing hate nonviolent communication and unarmed civilian protection in wars
I read this book too fast, and it finished too soon. I will read it again and savour every word, every surprising insight, every amazing bit of evidence that tells me I need to change my thinking. I will keep highlighting portions and I will wear it out.
— Mary-Wynne Ashford, MD, International Physicians for Prevention of Nuclear War

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Are We Done Fighting was written by Canadian Friends Service Committee (Quakers)
Site developed by Canadian Friends Service Committee, the peace and social justice agency of Quakers in Canada. Matthew Legge.