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Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond.

Finally understand...

Why we hold fast to false beliefs

Why we hold fast to false beliefs

Get fresh insights into the many factors at play when we believe something. The book acknowledges the incredible challenges and limitations we all face in thinking clearly and carefully, but also provides effective and immediate actions we can take.

Ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves & others

Ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves & others

Drawing on the newest understandings from neuroscience as well as more classic evidence, many useful insights collectively show us how to approach situations of exclusion and prejudice differently, to begin to transform ourselves and those we're in contact with.

When punishment works & when it doesn't

When punishment works & when it doesn't

We often believe that our powers work only if they're backed up by punishments or physical force. The book explores evidence from parenting to the work place to show what punishment is likely to achieve and what it isn't.

Why we act against our own best interests

Why we act against our own best interests

Discover what makes us support policies that are bad for us, why we act in ways that make us feel worse, and how we decrease our own security. You'll also learn the surprisingly effective methods to counteract these self-destructive tendencies, and help other people notice and counter-act them too.

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The Author

Matthew Legge author of Are We Done Fighting?



Matthew Legge loves exploring the evidence and sharing interesting stories. He’s particularly passionate about making communication honest, simple, and accessible to multiple audiences. He’s worked in the nonprofit sector for the last 13 years, with a focus on building health, dignity, and human rights. He’s supported locally-led peace initiatives in North America, Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. He’s served as a volunteer, consultant, board member, and full-time staff member.

Since 2012, Matthew has worked for Canadian Friends Service Committee (CFSC), the peace and social justice agency of Quakers in Canada. Quakers are widely respected for their efforts to prevent war and transform conflicts, as well as their impartial support for war victims.

As CFSC’s Peace Program Coordinator, Matthew has had the opportunity to learn from Quakers across Canada and in the US, Europe, and Africa. Are We Done Fighting? is written for a general audience as part of Matthew’s work for CFSC, and all proceeds received from the publisher go to support CFSC’s peace and justice work.

Matthew’s fascination with how diverse cultures organize themselves to solve different challenges led him to get a degree in Anthropology from the University of Toronto. He served for six years on the board of directors of the Ontario Council for International Cooperation, where he helped develop anti-oppression strategies. He currently resides in Toronto.

"What if there was something powerful you could do right now, today, that would impact not only your own life, but your whole community? What if others were already using skills and knowledge that you’d never heard much about, but that could be genuinely transformative?"

— Are We Done Fighting?

the incredible stories of peacebuilders working in the midst of violence

This is a book about thriving.

Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields like neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for anyone working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division.

Gain new skills

Activities throughout the book help you put the learning into practice – either on your own or with a group. Experience the concepts you’re picking up and learn how to translate them into real world action.

Understand yourself & others in more realistic ways

Peaceful relationships aren’t just about being reasonable or taking the “high road.” You’ll learn all about the irrational biases that affect our thoughts and behaviors, start spotting them in yourself and others, and learn proven ways to motivate positive changes.

Practice the secrets to better communication

Develop your abilities in effective listening, understanding where others might be coming from, and communicating so that your needs can actually be met.


Recognize conflict styles & the dynamics at play

Discover straightforward and illuminating ways to analyze and understand conflicts, as well as the many ways that successful conflict transformation happens without rigid conflict management tools.

Learn how to intervene & address bigotry & hate

Explore and experience effective practices for stepping in during escalating conflicts. Gain the confidence to stop being a bystander and live out your values, even in high pressure situations.

Keep it complex

While being easy to understand, Are We Done Fighting? doesn’t cut-corners or claim that there’s only one principal cause to complex and evolving problems. It offers many options and let’s you choose which ones work for you.

Get a free chapter!

Just enter your email to receive a free chapter. Easy as that.

This chapter will give you a taste of why Are We Done Fighting? is such an informative and useful read. It focuses on beliefs. You’ll discover new insights into why we believe what we do. You may never engage in an argument the same way again.



What this book is not :


what this book is not



The book focuses on what we can do and what's possible without making abstract or grand claims. If you're a skeptic this book is for you (idealists—you'll find it inspiring too!).

Ignorant of human nature

Ignorant of human nature

In fact, the book exposes, with a fascinating range of findings, just how many of our beliefs about human nature are based on false or exaggerated assumptions.

Just opinions

Just opinions

Written in an easily accessible way, every point made is still based on a careful examination of the evidence. Hundreds of citations are included for anyone who's interested.



The book is designed to help you take what you're reading out into the world. It's not always going to be easy, but Are We Done Fighting? makes it as easy as possible.

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There's no more important moment for this than right now.

Get your copy today and uncover new ways to use your power!

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Speaking & Workshops

Are We Done Fighting? includes activities designed to be done together with your school club, faith community, or other groups. The book even has an appendix full of advice on how to facilitate these kinds of workshops. But if you’d like help, feel free to be in touch to discuss Matt coming to your event to either give a brief presentation or facilitate a longer workshop.

To share your stories about using the book, your questions, comments, and ideas, to request a review copy, or for any other inquiries, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Matt and the other Canadian Friends Service Committee staff do our best to answer all messages as soon as we can.

Matthew Legge doing a TV interview about addressing hate nonviolent communication and unarmed civilian protection in wars

Get in Touch!

Are We Done Fighting was written by Canadian Friends Service Committee (Quakers)
Site developed by Canadian Friends Service Committee, the peace and social justice agency of Quakers in Canada.